Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
