Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
