tell your sister to shave her snatch
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
