I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
