I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
