so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
