I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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