why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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