is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize