..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
