it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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