peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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