what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
