fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
