She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
