very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wear drunk well.
So apparently I’m into choking now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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