I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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