$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
