therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
