Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
