Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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