I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize