So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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