Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
