I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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