wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you didnt know i had herpes?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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