so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
