it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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