you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
