Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
