I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
