im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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