Someone shit on the floor
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this just has baby written all over it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize