was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
