was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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