I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
