It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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