Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
