if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
