i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
