the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize