In the future we'll all be gay
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
