When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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