But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
