problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
