i just wanna soil my oats bro
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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