dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize