i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
