He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
