who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The beer is more important than you right now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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