Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize