PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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