I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
