You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
