so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
