i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
