And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
