Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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