ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
