sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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