fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
