I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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