he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
